Friday, January 28, 2011

The Clot - Revisited

I had posted 10 posts, which means I had learned or relearned the meaning of about 10 short Surahs of the Qur'an or part of 10 of my 'picking and choosing'.  Little verses that make up not even a tip of the Qur'an, yet the understanding overwhelms me I couldn't get away from it.  And one part of the understanding takes over my life and I couldn't move pass it unless I proclaim it.

What have I learned, that as I cook I will think about it, that as I drive I will think about it, that as I talk to my children, text my friend, think of my late husband, do groceries, read blog posts, visit my parents, plan a trip, play with my baby nephew, the understanding and the verses will come to me.

I learned that I was just a clot, 45 years, one month, maybe 15 days, ago.  I was a clinging clot of congealed blood, clinging for life, deep in the dark of my mother's womb.

I didn't know how to write, I didn't know how to read.  I didn't know anything.

Today, today I am beyond all bounds.  Today I imagine I am self-sufficient.  Today I have articulated thoughts and speech.  Today the sun and the moon run their appointed courses, my life has balance.  The stars and the trees  give me added joy.

Today, by His will, I am grateful that I am able to express my gratefulness to Him, my Creator.  The Shaper Of Beauty.  Today I am grateful I am able to be grateful to Him for my past.  Today I am grateful I am able to pray to Him  for my future.

Today, by His will, I proclaim, in the name of my Lord and Cherisher, Who created, created me, out of a clot of congealed blood, proclaim, my Lord is Most Bountiful, He Who taught me the use of the Pen, taught me which I knew not.  Today, by His will I bow down in adoration, and bring myself closer to Him.  InsyaaAllah, MasyaaAllah.

Friday, January 14, 2011

The Bright Morning Hours

I sit in my living room, computer in my lap, watching the view outside.  The sun has just come up, the sky is clear and cool.  It rained last night.  The trees are green, their leaves bright and moist.  Their reflections bright in the pond.  The orchids of purple and white and dark brown scattered on the lawn add colors.  I have a beautiful garden.

I can see my turkey pet fluffing his feathers.  He perches right on the doorstep.  I can see a squirrel playing in the tree.  An early squirrel.  Yesterday a family of monkeys came to visit.  The morning chirping birds had quietened down and I can hear the distant sound of a rooster crowing.  A late rooster.

My helper just arrived and she is doing the dishes.  I sit here in this big sofa chair waiting for my children to get ready.  I hear water running in the shower, I hear low humming of the dishwasher.  There is no more food in the house and we are going out to get breakfast then groceries.

My heart fills with gratitude for everything that I have, Alhamdulillahirabbila'lamin, all praise is due to God and God alone, the Sustainer of all the worlds, the Most Gracious, the Dispenser of Grace.  And I pray for His continued blessing.  Yet there is an innate melancholic feeling hanging in the calmness of the morning.

I google for the meaning of a verse and the page rests on Ad-Dhuha, The Bright Morning Hours.  The surah seems to have been revealed to the Prophet, may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him, during a desolate time of his outer life.

In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Consider the bright morning hours,
and the night when it grows still and dark.
Thy Sustainer has not forsaken thee, nor is He displeased;
for, indeed, the life to come will be better for thee than the former
And, indeed, in time will thy Sustainer grant thee, and thou shalt be well-pleased.

Has He not found thee an orphan, and given thee shelter?
And found thee lost on thy way, and guided thee?
And found thee in want, and given thee sufficiency?
Therefore, the orphan shalt thou never wrong,
and him that seeks help shalt thou never chide,
and of thy Sustainer's blessings shalt thou ever speak.